Trevor

I know he will never read this and i dont want him too, well not yet. Im too afraid of him and every time i see him in gym or the halls I get all scared and run away. How can I feel this way toward a guy who I hate. Time for me to come out with the truth. Im done lieing my heart is shattered by everthing that has happened. Why couldn't we have been like 2 normal kids in middle school. Just be friends and hang out, joke around and ya. I cant hide everything I have done to him and myself. I ruined it and I just laughed it off. Was it more serious then i thought? Well to him it was, I can't take the pain anymore. The pain has gottan to much to handle. My best friend Melissa has a super awesome boyfriend and everyday I want that. I screwed up really badly but I dont regret it. I am who i am and for then people who thinks he's ugly or a jerk SHUT UP. I can say that i have a perfecly good reason to but i dont. I dont care about him, but he is not a terrible guy. I hope that he doesnt hate me too much for screwing up and i dont expect him to be my friend anytime soon. I am finnaly glad to write down my feeling and relax.