What is normal?

Everyone tells me im not normal but what is normal. I no i am never be normal compared to the other people at my school but who says that they're normal. I am a goofball and LOVEING IT!!!!!! I just can't stand the fact that its weird to say somthing normal. I mean I am sure im not normal of even close but i still want the person who is completly normal to to comfoward to show me what it is. I love being me and thats all to it but really when you call me unnormal think about it what IS normal?

Pep rally

Today pep rally. I really embressened myself today. IT WAS SO FUN!! Megan and I were dancing like freaks of nature or well i was. Then all of a sudden the assistant prinple comes and looks like he has PMS or somthing and tells up to sit down. WHATTTT??????? Its a pep rally supposed to be peppy? I goth and i was having a better time then the cheerleaders. I went nuts and we were dancing to my song Taco. I was in line for lunch and it was taco day so i made a sone about tacos and its one word TACOS. Anyway, everyone of my friends told me i looked so hilarious but when i got on the bus this asshole next to me tells me
"Everyone in the 8th grade things your retarded" and im all like "What you have nothing else to do all day but harass a 7th grader wow low." That got to him. He didn't talk the whole bus ride when he always calls me goth or somthing. Wow i was soooo happy for once without being called a name. It was nice but i felt bad for what i said well not too bad really. But anywho to day was super fun hope to get yelled at again soon!!!

How could i have lived without you?

I ask myself that everyday. You and me were attached like sisters. But now its hard to believe that ever lasted. I have always wanted to be there with you when you need help but why is it that you always pick the ones who dont care? I mean im always there for you and stick up for you but you never do the same. I can tell I dont care or am not there but thats a lie. I hope that one day our friendship will grow large like your heart but until you leave them I dont know what to do. There fake and always take behind your back. How can you not care? I though it was over but we r still good friends but you know when you need me I will always be there. I enjoyed every memory we've mad but now its time for you to show me if you can handle yourself. Thanks for eveything and enjoy your jerks im always here when you need me but when you treat me like dirt then we are done!

Why?

The reasons I'm goth..............

1. Black looks good on me (or I think so)
2. Hating my parents
3. getting left out
4. Lossing my best friend
5. lossing all hope that I'll ever fit in
6. Being rejected by my one true love
7. Being called a slut for a mistake
8. Being called emo or dumb so far my 7th grade year
9. Lossing all Faith in myself
10. Lossing the one person who I really still care about my Great Grama Smith

All those reason hut but I am who I am. You might think im heartless or emo Some call me satin when I don't even call you names? I get back on my feet don't I? You all can call me what ever you want, it's not going to change me. I smile and laugh, i dont sob for no reason. I dont cut myself when my world falls down. So show me what you got and i wont care. You can call me all the names you want and it will still mbe meaningless to me. It doesn't even make you look cool. If im the one sticking up for myself then why harress me? You will lose I promise you that. I got 2 feet and I'm never holding back. Come get me I will always be 2 steps infront. Now tell me is t worth it now? I can show you hell any time but your not worth fightting with. When you really know me for me not for my looks the I wont hate you. I have stregth and weaknesses and I can use them to my advantage. Now last time is it worth it to you to make fun of people now?

HEY YOU PEOPLE

Hey im sick of people calling Bliss emo GOT IT!? I look like her and when you called me heartless then whats wrong with you? You act to cool for school and like your just the greatest thing living. Why keep lieing to yourselves? I may seem like a bitch but im not. I love having fun hanging with friends and goofing off. Even though i wear black and your PINK does that make you better then me and Bliss well I think not. We may even be better then you. See we dont call peoples names because they're different. Now please you think you can hurt us think again. Ohh mess with any of my friends I will kill you with my thumb. If you dont think thats possible just watch me. I love all people I have respect for but people like you and your friends I dont like and i kinda HATE you. When a girl like me so laid back and fun doesn't like you, you got yourself into hell. Now wait when you mess with my friends i will be coming!!

Trevor

I know he will never read this and i dont want him too, well not yet. Im too afraid of him and every time i see him in gym or the halls I get all scared and run away. How can I feel this way toward a guy who I hate. Time for me to come out with the truth. Im done lieing my heart is shattered by everthing that has happened. Why couldn't we have been like 2 normal kids in middle school. Just be friends and hang out, joke around and ya. I cant hide everything I have done to him and myself. I ruined it and I just laughed it off. Was it more serious then i thought? Well to him it was, I can't take the pain anymore. The pain has gottan to much to handle. My best friend Melissa has a super awesome boyfriend and everyday I want that. I screwed up really badly but I dont regret it. I am who i am and for then people who thinks he's ugly or a jerk SHUT UP. I can say that i have a perfecly good reason to but i dont. I dont care about him, but he is not a terrible guy. I hope that he doesnt hate me too much for screwing up and i dont expect him to be my friend anytime soon. I am finnaly glad to write down my feeling and relax.

Carly

SQUUUUUUEEEAAKKKKKKK!!!!!! I love this show its hard not to watch it. Soo anyway I am super excited to be really close friends with you. I love hanging out with you and I totally love SQUELING with you. All the things we do together mean the world to me. How close we are and hopefully how close we will get will just be amaxing. Being weird is our specialty. Buttery popcorn is SO good. Your really a true friend carly and i hope you remember that!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING ME BFFL