YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK 2 things to tell you. One Thank Bliss for her amzing brain. She found a plan on having my bday hahah. GOOO BLISS. I owe you big time :D. Ok secound heres a pic of my new dog berkly. Hes only 6 months and if you think this is aldo theres him and compare him to Berkly!!! Tell me what you think

              

Berly

Aldo

New day. Thank god

Yesterday was just not my day at all. I hate those days so much. Its like 9:30 and no one in my house is up. Im just relaxin on my couch with my laptop listening to Kid your gonna go far by Offspring. My friend Melissa showed me this song. I love it mostly the part where it says Dance Fucker Dance :D. Well iu have nothing else to say. I no stupid post well who cares

Tired and sad

Good new and bad news. Bad news always goes first which thats what i do when i have a good test grade and a bad test grade. Ok so the bad news is that Im stuck inbeween having a friend and losing a friend. I mean shes been my best friend since 3rd grade but unforturely they people she hangs with are total jerks and call me name. I want to be her friend but i cant with those losers. She just cant give up her old friends becuase shes afraid she will hve no friends. Thats not true for her. Well she hopefully with figure that out soon. Ok for the good new well i made a good idea for my bday thing that i just cant figure out. I was going to post pone it and wait a weekend after but who knows if thats going to work. I was also thinking if i should even have a party at all WAIT can't hve it the weekend after thats Bliss's bday. Nevermind im not having a party its just way to hard. Now im tired, sad, and now upset. Stupid Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love.......

What do i love? I am not totally sure what that is yet. I mean I love my friends like sisters but other then that i dont really know what i truly love. I fell in love with many of my friends (treaver is not my friend) I just never get love. I mean when im in love its so noticeable and its sad. I start getting nervus and i seem to always seem to be staring at the gut i like and its just so pathict. I mean really pathic. Ya so for the people who see me looking around in Gym or the lower 7th grade hall then now you know why or well the people who know who i like. So ya i mean im not totally alone i guess but guys confuse me really. They say we are confusing but guys they could love you until the end of time but not tell you. I mean they are supposed to right? I mean why should the girl do everything for them. Oh well i can tell when some one likes some one its my talent but i never see anyone like me so i must be really stupid or im very unattractive. Im asumming the secound one is it hahahah

What do you do when this happends?

OK so you know my bdays coming up (not excited) and I don't have anything to do. I know my friends want to come over but I don't know what I should do. I really don't want Bliss to be like feeling this is her fault but its mine because I should of asked about her plans My bad hahah. I just need ideas so I could do something instead of being on my computer all day which is what I'm guessing I'm doing to do. I wonder if I could have my cousin Johnna over. I love Johnna she makes me happy. She is so funny and I love to talk to her one because shes only like 6 mouths older then me and she goes though the same things I go though but shes a little more luckier then me lol. Inside joke between me and her. I just got off the phone with her anyway and she just got into a High school Trinity if that's how you spell it. Congrats Johnna Marotta ;). So anyway back to the subject I need ideas for what to do. My whole family is gone and I need some things to get my mind off of a few things (boys, school, boys, family, BOYS) Yes lots of boy problems how exciting. So what would you think if a ex-boyfriend gives you a forward about being a good boyfriends what should I take that as. He wants to be friends again or get back together for the 3rd time or what. He gives me to many mixed signals jeez. I don't even know if I like him anymore. I think I moved on but I really do think about him more then I used to before we stoped talking. Then we have another boy who im insanly in love with but seem to always make fun of him the chances i get. I mean I dont know if this thing is love your just a bunch of anger. I mean come on we stopped talking after we kissed. Whats the big deal anyway? I dont see it. I get it, it was a mistake but I sure as hell dont regret my actions. But yeah need ways to help me. COMMENT PLEASE NOW

News

YES!! Got the new dog and he is so cute. Im so tried though. I can't help but think about valentines day. I have no boyfriend, i gave a flower to TREAVER oopppss. Well when he gets it i better be far away from him or im screwed. I know i would laugh about it and stare at him so what should i do???

Again

How many times do I have to be the one to lose and let people come and go. I learned to not trust people with my feelings and I do it again. Geez old habits are hard to break. I might not have a party on my bday because I really want Bliss to be there. If that means anything to you which I hope so. Another birthday alone and sad. How thoughtful mom and dad. Hey I get a dog tomorrow which is excting. I just feeling my depression coming back and I can't feel that way anymore. I felt that for way to long but somehow my depression gets the best of me and I lose all the people I love. How this happens I dont know why? Can I be lonly again. I just got a new text from phil and that makes me happy (dont ask). Im falling again and somehow this feels different than before when I had these depressed times. I feel like I will fall but I will literaly have nothing left to help me up. Why is that? If anyone cares anymore please help. Maybe this is all because of my birthday. I might not even celebrate it this year, I really dont care anymore. HELP ME PLEASE!!!

Katie